Saturday, September 26, 2009

Israel and me (First Part)


OK, i will get a little more personal here, and will share with you some of the things that have been happening these last days (the past three years?).
So i will start from the beginning since i also promised at the opening of this blog to tell the testimony of how i ended up studying here in Israel, so i guess the time has come! Although is late at night, i happened to be inspired and those of you that like to write whatever you write know that you have to take advantage of those moments!
OK so, the first part you already know it, because for me, my relationship with Israel started since before i was born. My mother was not able to keep a pregnancy and was told that she was barren. So after 5 years of prayer, a group of people was traveling to Israel from my original country, Colombia, and my mother decided to write a note asking for a miracle to have a baby, basing her prayer in the passage that says, “Moreover, concerning a foreigner, who is not of Your people Israel, but has come from a far country for the sake of Your great name and Your mighty hand and Your outstretched arm, when they come and pray in this temple; then hear from heaven Your dwelling place, and do according to all for which the foreigner calls to You, that all peoples of the earth may know Your name and fear You, as do Your people Israel, and that they may know that this temple which I have built is called by Your name" in 2 Chronicles 6:32-33. That was in November 1981. In December she was reading the Scriptures and read a verse in 2 Kings 4:16a, "Then he said, “About this time next year you shall embrace a son.” My mother read this and felt the Lord speaking to her that He will give her a baby in the following year, and exactly in December i was born.
My parents had another two children, another girl and a boy. They wanted to come to Israel and pray for me here as my mother told the LORD that she wanted also to dedicate me to Him, which now that i write about it, it really makes me thoughtful and expectant! She came to Israel after i was born, when i was 11 months, and then came with my father and me when i was 10 years old.
When i was 20 i came again invited by a family that wanted to come to Israel to volunteer in a moshav that they got to know in their several trips to Israel. Moshav means settlement in Hebrew. But the special thing about this one was that it is the only Messianic Jewish settlement in Israel. Meaning that is the only settlement that has Jews that have come to believe in Jesus as their Messiah. The name is Yad Hashmona. So I came in the year 2003 to volunteer and also study and travel the Land, met other Colombian people that came with me in the trip and together did a lot of fun things here in Israel. But by that time, my heart was different, my faith was very blind being honest, even though i know that God was calling me even then.
In total, i was here with the group for 6 months, some of them left earlier, but i stayed with a few of them longer. One special thing i do remember from that time that connects in the story, is one time that i was walking in the Biblical Garden in the moshav, and it was almost sunset, my favorite time to walk around specially there...and a group of Americans were singing and praying above the place were I was walking by...it was so beautiful, i felt the wind and the songs would come softly and the beautiful lyrics would just break into my thoughts. You know, i didn't grow up with worship music in English, never heard or at least if i did, i wasn't very interested...but this song, that you probably know, broke through my heart, and still does..."and I, I'm desperate for You, and I, I'm lost without You..." and then more wind. I was so touched by those words since i wanted to know if the LORD wanted me to stay longer or to go back home and i was hoping for an answer.
So then the leader of that group started praying and then he said some words i couldn't catch, i just understood that he was talking about Moses and Aaron and something about Aaron's staff, but couldn't really hear. And then i just asked the LORD, so should i stay longer? And then this young guy said, 'like Aaron threw his staff on the Land, the LORD is asking you to through your gift or talent on this Land'. I wasn't sure of what this guy was really talking about, but for me it was just so clear and i felt so joyful to know that He wanted me here. However, i recognise that i wasn't very prepared, and mature...and probably didn't do what He wanted me to do. But instead of 2 moths and a half, i ended up staying for 6 months. Then i flew back to Colombia.

Some interesting things happened to me while i was there. I trusted again in my "spirituality" if there is something like that, and did things that i knew weren't part of His plans. But He guided me and my family into a beautiful group of people that were studying a good Word, it was a clean message from the LORD to His people and we were so tired of sermons based on humanism or psychology, how to be a better person, stuff like that that have taken the truth of the LORD Jesus and taught them without the power of His name! We were thirsty for a pure Word, and He guided us to it, like the sheep says beautifully in the Psalm 23: 2b, "He leads me beside the still waters". We began to feel that this was real, that finally we found pure water that satisfied our thirst! And i began my personal path, my struggle, my battle against this flesh, but on the other side, my real satisfaction and fulfilment!
After two years, we moved to Dominican Republic, being very difficult to leave our family in the LORD, but following God's direction. After 3 months, i started working as an English Teacher for kids after school and it was a part time job...and my first serious job ever! Which i have to say that i really enjoyed and loved. After i graduated from school, at the age of 16 and a half, i knew i would study or Psychology, or gerontology, or sociology or perhaps go to Law school (i definetely had it figured out!). I went to visit the universities with my father, and also tried to get some scholarships. And then, my father asked me what i thought about studying music? I always loved to sing, but sadly left my piano lessons after a year only and never learned to play anything else, but i always loved music. We decided to visit the Conservatory in Colombia in the city where we were living and even though the building was not in very good condition (art is not well supported in Colombia), from the moment that i entered that place i knew that my puzzle was solved. I applied, got in, and studied there the 2 years of the preparation program. Then we had to move...and since then didn't get the chance to continue it or study in some other place.
OK, let's go forward if you are still with me...I was already in Dominican Republic. I'm an English Teacher, 23 years old, and already saving to start studying education since music was not really something i wanted to study there, or maybe not anymore...When i was teaching for already 9 months, the couple from the family that invited me to Israel two years before, came to visit and told me that a friend of mine, that i met after i came from Israel some months before she left to Israel, was still there and now moved from the moshav into a house that they rented there and wanted to open it as a house of prayer. They told me that they wanted that young people would come and live in this house and pray for Israel and study Hebrew. Plus other activities like singing in the streets of Jerusalem and musical theater of stories from the Bible. I liked the idea, but i thought that finally i was settling down and perhaps could start studying soon so i said no to their invitation for me to come. It was hard for me, i don't remember how i felt, but i was not at peace...i heard them speak to their children on the phone telling them that they had to look for another girl to participate in their programs because i didn't want to go. I was burning inside. I prayed, read the Scriptures that if you are looking for answers in the Scriptures if to come or not to come to the Land, it's not the best place to look in, they are full of Israel everywhere!
My mom came into my room, we talked, and she told me that maybe it could be that the LORD wanted me to come. I prayed and asked for some signs...OK, i admit it, i have a friend that always tells me that i'm always looking for signs...well i'm caught! I have to ask the LORD to work on that issue too! So He answered my prayers, gave me the signs, and i arrived to Ben Gurion Airport the 20th of February 2006.
Then it all began!

"... being confident of this very thing, that He who has begun a good work in you will complete it until the day of Jesus Christ;...." (Philippians 1:6)

Material for Sacrifice 2


I confess I have fallen again, i thought that i could make it, i know that i cannot do anything without Him, but i took Him for granted once again, and i can tell you, it's so frustrating! But i understand that is a battle that will be going on as i will be perfected in Christ the LORD and then this flesh will finally disappear.

Oh how i wish to become like He is! But the cost of dying is sometimes very difficult, for me is difficult almost all the time actually, but i know that there is no other way. Thanks to Him that
i'm not supposed to do this alone, but He has given me His Spirit to guide me. I need to trust more in Him, to have a closer relationship with the Spirit so He will strengthen me keeping me from falling. I know i have no other choice, i mean there are other choices but i know that His way is the best. His way is Life, His way is the only real one because as He said, He is the Way, the Truth and the Life. How beautiful words, how clear are they for me, and every time that i read them and hear them in my head are so alive!

Oh LORD, change me, cleanse me from the inside out!


Another thing that i must confess is that i haven't been talking more to other non believer people about Him, and i feel the need of doing it, not only to fulfil a
commandment but i just can't keep quiet no longer! How can the people out there live without Him? I mean, is that actually meaningful or even "possible"? And how am i living, that i know Him? That's a hard question, i see my need of reflecting Him more in my life, to come out of the state of thinking so much in me and how i have to act, and what i should say, and how to say it...just be free, and let Him to flow in and through me dying to myself!

I really don't deserve His inexhaustible mercy and love but He still loves me! And forgives me!



Oh Lord help me to be like You! Create in me a CLEAN HEART oh Lord, and renew a RIGHT SPIRIT within me! Burn my flesh in the fire of Your Holiness, and let your grace shower me and fall upon me! Restore in me the Fear for You, and help me to honor and glorify you in everything that i do. Everything, your eyes are looking ALL the time, they know my every move. Test me, proof me, purify. Please take from me my life.
Amen.

Friday, September 25, 2009

Pardoning, grace -- חנינה


And the LORD said, "I Do Not Remember"



How little we understand of eternal redemption! How many times will God forgive you? If you have truly set your heart to follow Him, He will cancel your sins as often as you ask*. Will He forgive of the worst sin you can think of? Yes! You may have to live with the concequences of your misdeed, but the redemptive power of God is such that, even in your sin, there are many things of value to be reclaimed. As for the sin itself, if you deeply and sincerely repent* of it, not only will God forgive you, He will blot it out of His memory.


Let me share an experience. A certain man of God has been gifted with revelatory insight into people's lives. During an evening service he ministered to a Prebyterian pastor and his wife. By the gift of the Spirit, he revealed the couple's past, uncovered their present situation and then disclosed to them what was to come. This work of God greatly impressed the couple, and as the prophecies were fulfilled, one month later the presbyterian minister brought two other pastors, each with their wives, to another service for personal ministry. The word of knowledge was exceptionally sure that night, and the second minister and his wife marveled at the accuracy and truth in the prophetic word. The third couple stepped forward for ministry and again the word of knowledge was present. The prophet spoke to the husband, revealing his past, present and insight into his future. Then the man turned to his third minister's wife. As he began to speak of her past, suddenly he stopped. "There was a very serious sin in your past." The woman, with her worst fear seeminly upon her, turned pale and closed her eyes. The congregation hushed and moved to the edge of their seats. The prophet continued, "And I asked the Lord, 'What was this sin that she committed?'And the Lord answered, 'I do not remember!' "
The LORD had been faithful to His promise, "I will not remember your sins." Although many times this minister's wife had asked for cleansing, still she could not believe the depth of God's forgiveness. He removed it "as far as the east is from the west" (Ps. 103:12). From everywhere but the prison of her own mind, her sin had been paid for and removed. And now in His great mercy, He removed it from there as well!

Oh, what burdens we carry, what guilt and limitations surround us because we do not accept God's total and perfect forgiveness! In Isaiah we read, "I, even I, am the One who wipes out your transgressions for my own sake; and I will not remember your sins" (Isa. 43:25).
How great is the God we serve! How wonderful is His love toward us! He is our Redeemer! Our Savior! If you are willing to forgive others and will but ask to forgive you, He will pardon your debts as often as you contritely turn to Him. He promises He will remember your sins no more! He who calls us to His perfections, has also provided perfectly for us to approach Him. Holiness is an unfolding relationship with the grace of God.

(Excerpt from the book: 'Holiness, Truth and the Presence of God' by F.Frangipane)


*"...He will cancel your sins as often as you ask..." -And further on: "...if you deeply and sincerely repent." I wanted to clarify this part, because I hope those who are reading this are true followers of the Lord and will not take grace as an excuse or opportunity for sin to abound like Paul seriously and clearly explains in Romans 5 and 6. Like it's also written in Proverbs 28: 13, "He who covers his sins will not prosper, but whoever confesses and forsakes them will have mercy". This is the true repentance, to confess and forsake our sin.

Help us LORD to surrender to you, to feed Your Spirit within us and not to give in to the desires of our flesh.