Still thinking in the -things- He has for you?

How blind i am not to see Him clearly! Please Lord, open my eyes so i would see you everyday, every moment of my life, that i would walk in your ways. Examine my ways and don't let me go astray.
How blind we can get? Getting used to hear about Him, getting used to read His Word, getting used to live life and to have our own desires. Yes, we gave our lives to Jesus, yes, we said that we'd follow Him, but we still have our -own- desires, our own little space, a place that we'd probably gave up, but we kept the extra key with us so we would enter whenever we want.
How blind we can get? Going out each day, thinking about ourselves, passing over people in need, people that probably will die without getting to know the Lord. How much do we really care about it? Do we really care? Do we really care and work for the Kingdom of God to be established here on earth, or we are playing church as lonely rangers that meet every week?
We are in the world, that's right, but we are not part of the world, as if we are not the same. I question myself, am i really a Christian, a follower of Jesus Who walked on this earth but was never part of it? He was despised, yet He always gave Himself in service to others, never looking at His own needs. Remember what i shared with you before? He came from being away from the multitude, to have a time of solitude with His Father, yet when He came out, saw more people awaiting Him. What He felt? Compassion, and went and healed those who were sick, He went to serve -again. Yes, i know what you're thinking, -that wasn't that hard for Him, i mean, He was God! He was never really tired, He could have gone for days if He would have wanted too! And i would say to you, that if you read the Scriptures and if you trust the Lord, but i mean, really trust Him, that you are totally sure that He is in control of His Word that He left for us even through the years, then you will have to admit the parts where is written that he was thirsty, or that he was hungry, or even at the moment when He was praying at the garden, He Himself confessed that His soul was troubled to death! He cried out to His Father asking Him to spare Him of having to die, but He knew what was needed to happen, He is the Lamb that was slain before the foundation of the world! He looked at his suffering as a door to superior gain and glory!
And i agree with you, He is God, and he was God when He was walking on earth, and i don't want to discuss any kind of doctrinal issue but to stick to His Word and what He has revealed to us. There is no need to make up new ideas, that usually, since they are made by us, humans, sinners, the only powerful thing that they do is to make divisions in the body of the Messiah. I mean who are we to question God?
And here is a calling, a cry from my heart. He is coming soon, not for many denominations, not for the little groups that point their finger to everyone else that in their own eyes are not holy enough, not for the great massive congregations that boast in their numbers and services every week, but haven't noticed at all that they shut out the door on His face and kept Him out. He is not coming for those who thought that the only way to be closer to Him and grow in Him was to isolate themselves in some remote place so they wouldn't face any temptation. He is not coming for those who call themselves His children, and call Him 'Lord' and perform great miracles and signs and wonders, but are living for themselves. He is not coming for those that are keeping Him from the dearest thing or person for them. 'Yes Lord, I give you my all, take everything'....but really inside you know what or who are you keeping from Him...like Ananias and Sapphira, saying,-that's all we have- trying to fool the Holy Spirit.
He is going to come for a bride, a bride without any spot or wrinkle, you know what that means? No spot, no reserved sin, no hidden sin. We can hide a sin from people, but He is looking! And His eyes are full of fire, but you know for what? So He would burn the sin, and in that way purify us. Don't you want to be pure? Don't you desire to be spotless? Purity in His eyes, is something so much higher than what we think. We can not reach it alone, but He made the way for us! And those same eyes of fire are also eyes that are full of compassion, of love, love like we have ever known!
No wrinkle, there is no 'old' faith, and if you are experiencing it, ask to be renewed! And don't misunderstand me, we ought to be mature, but not let our faith grow 'old', settle as something 'old', something that used to be powerful but it's not anymore...yeah you know, i pray, i've grown in a Christian home, i know the Bible, i know God, i'm a good person -and it starts to sound more and more alarming!- the only thing we got to do is pray, prayer...yeah right now we have nothing else to do. What are you talking about? We NEED prayer, we need to LIVE in prayer, we need to understand the POWER of prayer, it is not -just- the -only- thing we have to do, it's the POWERFUL TOOL the Lord gave us, to WORSHIP Him first of all, to FEED our relationship with Him, to INTERCEDE for other people, to BATTLE the spiritual. OK, old Christian, are you living for earthly things? Are you daydreaming of all the things God has for you? You are not spiritual if you are. You are blind and if you are still hoping for those things to come, maybe they will but isn't Him enough? More than enough i believe. And believe me i'm the first one to step forward confessing that i've walked most of what i considered now, my old Christian poor life waiting for the perfect plan that God had for me.
When i understood! Not by my cleverness that it's not that much of a virtue of mine, but by what i believe was the work of the Holy Spirit in me, in respond to my endless desire of being a genuine follower of the Lord.
HE IS, like He said clearly to Moses, -I AM-, He is my inheritance, and there is no reason to think that there should be something more. If things, those especial things that you want, and you know exactly what it is, are more important for you than the wonderful gift of being accepted in the Beloved, being accepted by the blood, the precious blood that our Lord shed for you, then you are LOST.
Yes, you will have things in this world, and don't get me wrong, God has created beautiful things that He created especially for us, but before that His purpose was to have a relationship with His creatures, us, you and me, and that is what is all about.It's about Him, it's about Him glorifying Himself through His son. It's about Him loving you and drawing you near to Him. That's the REAL LOVE. Like He said in Matthew 16:26, For what profit is it to a man if he gains the whole world, and loses his own soul? Or what will a man give in exchange for his soul?
So you want to continue living -your- life? Or you want to loose you life, and gain His? Do you want to stay blind? Do you want to continue playing Christian? Or you want to submit your life to the Lord? Do you want to wait for the good things God has for you? Or you want to live a deep relationship with the one that left everything He had to come to this earth so you would have the chance to know Him? Doesn't His love melts your heart? Isn't He the most beautiful being? Wouldn't you like to spend all your life, your temporary life, with Him and then rejoice with Him in eternity? Wouldn't you like to give your life to Him? And, do you desire His coming? Or you are too comfortable here...?
He is coming, don't live as He is not.

I want to give my life Every day I open my eyes
I just cannot live anymore for this filthy world
Take my life Oh Lord and purify my soul
I Don't want to walk alone through this valley anymore

If you are not with me, i don't want to live
Help me not to step astray from you love and your embrace
If you are not with me there's no reason to breathe
I have everything when i just have You

There are people out there walking blind in despair
With no clue of the blood that you shed
Take me to them, bring your Light through my life
And use me for the sake of Your Name!

Not living for me anymore
Not pleasing myself and my heart
But walking at the sound of Your voice
With eyes wide open to the needs around me.

To you Lord i will only praise
For you Lord is my every breath

Natalia
http://tehilim23.blogspot.com/

My Vision---

I've been thinking in so many things during this time, things that i want to change in my life and that i know in my own strength it's just impossible. I've been going through so many changes lately that sometimes i just get tired of thinking and let myself be taken by the flow. It's hard not to loose my place, on the Rock, but i fight to understand that He is guiding me and leading me through life, and that life, that life is all about Him! About His Kingdom being established on this earth! In me.
How many times i've prayed that His Kingdom would come, but how many times i've thought just in a general way and not that His Kingdom would come in my life! That He would decide and lead and guide, that He would order my steps! Oh, how much i really desire to be that woman that would give everything for just seating at His feet and hearing his voice, but what i think much more incredible, to look at His face! What a privilege Miriam had to seat at the feet of our Savior and look at Him. His eyes full of fire, consuming fire that would wash the filthiness away, but at the same time eyes of compassion that would embrace me with a single gaze.
I've been meditating on that passage in Matthew 14: 14 where it says that when He came out , He saw a great multitude and had compassion or mercy on them and healed those that were sick. I thought about this verse, and thought about myself, how many times i've turn my back to people just seeking my own comfort. Instead of walking straight, maybe just take a little short cut so i won't bump into whoever i don't feel to talk to right now. How much i've been centered in my own life, and not ready to hear others, to help others...Oh Lord give me Your heart!
Jesus, He is my model, He is my Vision, and it's a Great Vision, a Great example!
I once heard a preacher that i admire very much for his boldness and passion, (Paul Washer) sharing this analogy from his own experience of what is to follow the Lord's steps. He said that when he was young, a child, his father would wake him up early in the morning to work in their farm, and he remembered that in the snow his father would left these huge footprints and that he wanted to fit with his feet in those footprints, of course they were way to big for him but he would try even if he fell, just to fit in them. He said that he probably looked very ridiculous but that everybody that would have looked at him would have known that that kid wanted to be like his father.
I thought this analogy was so beautiful! We have an aim, a goal that we want to reach, that Great Vision put before us. We will fall, but we'll do it on the way, we'll be losing the weight in our backs from this world, and approach the cross. And it's not easy or pleasant, but that's the only reason for which we are alive. That's my only hope, that He that started the work in me, will accomplish it. That even though i walk through the valley of shadow of death He will be with me. That even if i fall, His right hand will lift me up and his rod and staff will comfort me...Father make me more like You.

Be Thou my Vision, O Lord of my heart
Naught be all else to me save that Thou art
Thou my best thought by day or by night
Waking or sleeping, thy presence my light

Riches i need not nor man's empty praise
Thou mine inheritance now and always
Thou and Thou only FIRST in my heart
High King of heaven my treasure Thou art

High King of heaven my victory won
May i reach heaven's joys O bright heaven's Sun!
Heart of my own heart, whatever befall
Still be my Vision, O Ruler of all.

Words: John Fawcett

Natalia
http://tehilim23.blogspot.com/

Letting go--

Like from a dream, i woke to a new life. A new physical, emotional and spiritual life. It's turning like waking up from the longest dream. It's hurting, deeply, to let go of the things that were so dear to me, to have thoughts at the middle of the night of the things that in that other place i could do, of the faces i could see whenever i wanted.
Tears would fall down and keep me from falling asleep. A big pressure in my chest with the need of letting emotions out will just keep me from resting. Letting go. Dying to myself, my desires. A hard thing to do, but He is prunning me, He is cutting from me the dry leaves, and even some that were not what He expected to be. He wants a perfect fruit, not only beautiful flowers. I cannot see what He is making, but i know i will understand, i just feel the pain and see blurry through the tears, it's not clear, but He is at work. I woke to a new life in Him, a life without self pleasing, but seeking what pleases Him. I want to know more of what He wants, of who He is, to love Him like when you are in love...you know? You want to be close to that person all the time, to see that person, to give everything, you don't think about yourself but about what he or she wants. You want that person to enjoy your company, to desire to be with you too, to embrace you, to support you. When that person is not around, you think about him/her, you want that person to be happy, fulfilled, you would give everything you could that is in your hands to give. You would give your life. You would die for him/her. That's the kind of love that He has for us, and because of His love we are able to love Him back. That's the new life i want, to be satisfied with my Lord.
Once, no long ago, i said to the Lord that i knew that He was doing something new in my life, that He and i know what will really hurt to me to loose, but that if that was the only way to become more like Him, then i wanted that, even if i knew inside of me that it was not possible that my flesh was the one asking for this, because i knew that would hurt; but the Spirit, helping me to interceed in the right way according to the Father's will. And at the same time, i was hoping that i would not have to loose that what i so much wanted.
Following the Lord is the most wonderful thing, that He would live in our hearts, our hearts that are not worthy of Him, but that He cleansed by the gift of His Son, in Him, in Jesus we are made clean so that He can come with the Father and dwell in us if we keep His words.
--Come dwell in me Lord, help me go through this valley, help me fix my eyes in You, thank you for revealing Yourself to me, i want more of you, and everytime, less of me Lord. Help me to rejoice even in the pain, knowing that it's all part of your work in my life, that it's all part of your love for me. Help me to let go.--

Natalia
http://tehilim23.blogspot.com/

Streams in the desert--

Blessed are those whose strength is in You...As they pass through the Valley of Baca, they make it a place of springs. (Psalm 84:5-6)

Comfort is not given to us when we are lighthearted and cheerful. We must travel the depths of emotion in order to experience comfort--one of God's most precious gifts. And then we must be prepared to become coworkers with Him.
When the sahdows of night--needed night-- gather over the garden of our souls, when leaves close up and flowers no longer reflect any sunlight within their folded petals, and when we experience even the thickest darkness, we must remember that we will never be found wanting and that the comforting drops of heavenly due fall only after the sun has set.

I've been through the valley of weeping,
The valley of sorrow and pain;
But the "God of all comfort"was with me,
At hand to uphold and sustain.

As the earth needs the clouds and sunshine,
Our souls need both sorrow and joy;
So He places us oft in the furnace,
The dross from the gold to destroy.

When he leads through some vally of trouble,
His omnipotent hand we trace;
For the trials and sorrows He sends us,
Are part of His lessons in grace.

Oft we run from the purging and pruning,
Forgetting the Gardener knows
That the deeper the cutting and trimming,
The richer the cluster that grows.

Well He knows that affliction is needed;
He has a wise purpose in view,
And in the dark valley He whispers,
"Soon you'll understand what I do."

As we travel through life's shadowed valley,
Fresh springs of His love ever rise;
And we learn that our sorrows and losses,
Are blessing just sent in disguise.

So we follow wherever He leads us,
Let the path be dreary or bright;
For we proved that our God can give comfort;
Our God can give song in the night.

L.B. Cowman

Make my life a prayer to you --Keith Green

Make my life a prayer to You

I wanna do what You want me to
No empty words and no white lies
No token prayers no compromise

I wanna shine the light you gave
Through your Son You sent to save us
From ourselves and our despair
It comforts me to know You're really there

Well i wanna thank you know
For being patient with me
Oh its so hard to see
When my eyes are on me
I guess i'll have to trust
And just believe what You say
Oh You're coming again
Coming to take me away
I wanna die and let You give
Your life to me so i might live
And share the hope You gave me
The love that set me free
I wanna tell the world out there
You're not some fable or fairy tale
That i've made up inside my head
You're God the son and You've risen from the dead

I wanna die and let you give
Your life to me so i might live
And share the hope that You gave me
The love that set me free

Just because...

Thinking about the plans that i must make for the days to come, i kind of get exhausted from it. Right now i find myself in a situation in which part of the answer is revealed but the rest of it is not even blurry but completly unknown for me.
I could do many things, i could continue moving as if nothing is happening and just live on, but i know that in some way all this that happens is calling my attention and my focus to Him. And maybe because intentionally I'm not being especific about the situation itself, you could also identify in some way with what i'm saying right now.
And personally, it's a hard thing for me to do, to focus on Him, sometimes my question is --how should i focus? what things can i do that will help me to focus? -- and other questions like these. But the truth is that i feel that in the moments when everything is still, when there is no other sound or noise, or will to do things to get there, in that state of being clueless, helpless, there He comes, there He speaks.
And i really long to hear Him speaking.
I had a conversation a few days ago with a believer friend, i was telling some of the things that i'm going through to him, and got really good encouragement from him, but also many questions started coming up in my head, questions that i've never ask to the Lord, like for example, what is His real purpose with having me here, and it's not that i've never thought about it, but somehow it was never clear to me, the answers i could think of would be very general, and i still wanted something more...but i'm beginning to understand that there is nothing "big" i could do without Him, and the highest vision to live for has already been exposed before us and it's to die to ourselves and live in Him, that He may live through us, like John said so beautifully, that i will diminish so that He will grow.
He said something that really touched me, he said that the most important thing to do when we are seeking God, it's not just to wait for Him to answer our prayers, or wait in Him to give us some light in the situation that we are experiencing, but to seek Him just because we want to be with Him, just because we have understood that our life is meaningless without Him. And when He sees a heart like that, that ok, we want answers, but we don't desire them as much as we desire Him, He comes, and He also answers but just the fact for us that He comes, that will do, that is enough.
How exciting to be so close to Him that we can feel Him or be filled with the assurance that He is close!
That's the life i'm choosing today, and especially to be lead by Him by still waters, i want to be immersed in His death and come to life in His resurrection.


^" What is man that You are mindful of him, And the son of man that You visit him?" (Psalm 8:4)

Natalia
http://tehilim23.blogspot.com/

I shall want--

Yes, i didn't make a mistake, i meant --i shall want-- What shall i want? more specifically, Who shall i want?

I imagine myself walking through a path.

I see bright, green, beautiful grass at each one of my sides...just that at my left side i was holding His right hand... we were walking together under the blue sky, and the soft breeze was caressing my face. It was a new spring day.

Through all my life, i've been walking that same path, everytime through different places and different seasons, sometimes even through the darkest night, and i can remember that i would look at my left side and there He was, stretching out his right hand so i could hold on to Him. Sometimes I would try to walk on my own, and He would let me! But just after a few steps, i would understand that there was no point to let go of His hand, i would be lost, i would be afraid...and even, blind.

But specially in this new spring day, i thought of something different, i wanted something more than just hold His hand, i mean, we walked most of the time, but i realized that i never looked into His eyes, face to face, and sat for a while to hear His voice...maybe i did hear it once, but by now i didn't remember anymore. So, yes, i stopped...first looking down, then i closed my eyes and felt His hand holding me so strong but gentle, i felt so secure...then i breathed really deep and opened my eyes turning my head up, because He is so much taller than me, and He was already with His eyes fixed upon me.

For a moment i felt i could not breathe, His gaze was so intense and overwhelming, like He could see through me. I felt ashamed, then one thick tear came out of His eyes, and then i was broken. I wanted to say something, i wanted to let go of His hand, i couldn't stop crying, i wanted to hide, to run away...i just felt so unworthy, filthy, ashamed...and when i tried to let go He hold me stronger, didn't hurt me, but surprised me, how could He want to be with me?

Then i heard it. Natalia--He called my name, He knows me; i never heard someone spoke out my name so beautifully, it was like music, a sweet melody, a comforting sound.

I raised my eyes to Him once again, and He smiled, He said--I love you-- He loves me! me?

Then i understood, all these years in which i've been walking with Him, i got used to Him and took His company for granted, wasting my time racing instead of stopping to look at Him, and letting Him to clean me with His gaze, hearing His voice and knowing His love.

Now i know that i definetely shall want, i shall want Him, and only Him, because with Him i lack nothing, i don't need anything outside of Him.

"Whom have in heaven but You? And there is none upon earth that i desire besides You." (Psalm 73:25)

"You will show me the path of life; In Your presence is fullness of joy; At Your right hand are pleasures forevermore." (Psalm 16:11)

"You have also given me the shield of Your salvation; Your right hand has held me up, Your gentleness has made me great." (Psalm 18:35)

"My soul follows close behind You; Your right hand upholds me." (Psalm 63:8)

Natalia
http://tehilim23.blogspot.com/

Do you bend with the wind?

"The wind blows where it wishes, and you hear the sound of it, but cannot tell where it comes from and where it goes. So is everyone who is born of the Spirit." (John 3:8)

the Wind that IS

by Melodie Green

When things don’t turn out the way we thought they would

When we are not in the place we hoped we’d be

Or with those we long to be with

There is One who understands.

When circumstances are not what we anticipated

Our life is still guided by a purposeful God

When He breathes, clouds move, trees rustle, boats sail

He is the One who clears our way with His Wind.

When the Wind is fierce the move is swift and frenzied

When a gentle breeze blows an easy glide is enjoyed

In still waters we may simply bobble along, often feeling forgotten
But the One who measures velocity, knows our times and our seasons.

When things are not what we hoped or prayed for

We must shift our heart into the Wind that IS

We must bend our will into the reality of God’s leading

He is the only One who can see the big picture.

After yielding and cooperating and doing our part

We will find ourselves at that next place of new beginnings

We will also understand both the swiftness and the delays

And the timing and wisdom of the One who carried us there.

"You are my God. My times are in your hands..." (Psalm 31:14)

Natalia
http://tehilim23.blogspot.com/